There’s something incredibly satisfying about working with couples in the intensive format. It’s not just meaningful—it’s transformational. After decades in this field, I can say without hesitation: A marriage counseling intensive is the work that brings me the most joy.

Feeling Stuck with Traditional Weekly Couples Therapy

Years ago, I hit a point where I felt stuck. I was frustrated and honestly starting to feel ineffective in my weekly couple’s therapy sessions. I’d spend the first chunk of the session getting us reconnected, we’d finally get to the heart of something, and just like that—it was time to stop. The couple would leave in a tender, vulnerable place, and then go home and fall right back into the same old patterns. By the time they came back the next week, we were basically starting all over again. It felt like rinse and repeat.

I started to feel like I was wearing handcuffs. I knew what needed to happen, but I didn’t have the time or the structure to really help them get there.

And on top of that, I was constantly struggling with scheduling. My calendar was packed, theirs was packed, and it felt like we were trying to squeeze change into 50-minute blocks between all our obligations.

| Related Resource: Learn more about the benefits of marriage counseling

How Marriage Intensives Changed Everything

That changed when I started working in the two-day marriage retreat format. Everything opened.

And what really made it all come together was using the materials from the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. They’re clear, structured, and incredibly user-friendly—for both therapists and couples. But more than just using those materials, I took them and created an intensive marriage counseling program that brings the model to life in this longer, deeper format.

Why Marriage Intensives Work Better

Now, I get to settle in with a couple. There’s no rushing. We start working even before we meet, which gives me space to be thoughtful and plan out how I want to use our time together. And it gives the couple a whole new way of thinking about what it takes to create the kind of relationship they say they want.

We don’t have to stop just as it’s getting good—or hard. They get to practice the new skills in real time, with me right there to help guide them. And that’s where real change happens. Neuroplasticity isn’t just a concept—it becomes something you can see in the room.

And couples feel it too. So many of them come in after multiple failed attempts with other therapists, and for the first time, they feel hopeful. That’s not a small thing.

Why I Believe in Intensive Marriage Counseling

Marriage Intensives are a much better model. Period.

And for those of us doing the work, it’s not our fault that we were trained in the one-hour-a-week model. That’s what we were taught. But the structure itself makes it hard to get traction, and when we don’t see results, it’s easy to start questioning ourselves—or worse, burning out.

I don’t feel that way anymore. I feel energized. I feel effective. I feel like I’m doing the work I was meant to do.

Two days with a couple often gets us farther than months of weekly sessions. And they leave with a binder full of tools, language, and a roadmap they can keep using long after we’re done.

| Interested in a more effective model? Explore marriage counseling retreats in California and Seattle.

Ready to Bring Marriage Intensives into Your Own Practice?

If you’re curious about how to bring this kind of work into your own practice—or you’ve just been feeling like there must be a better way—I’d love to show you how. You don’t have to stay stuck. This model changed everything for me, and it can do the same for you.

| Ready to transform your practice? Learn more about intensive marriage counseling training.

Marriage Intensives for Couples in Palm Desert, CA and Seattle, WA

If you are feeling stuck, burned out, or just ready to do work that feels more impactful and energizing, Ellyn Bader and I offer training that teaches therapists exactly how to deliver intensives. You don’t have to keep working in a model that leaves you feeling drained. There’s a better way–and you can absolutely do it.

If you are interested in working with me, I offer marriage intensives in Palm Desert, California and Seattle, Washington.

Click here to learn more about my marriage counseling intensives.