Whether you…

  • have been arguing for years or you can’t talk to one another anymore
  • haven’t had sex in a long time or discovered a recent betrayal
  • failed at counseling before or don’t have time to devote months in therapy

AND you want to give your relationship the best final chance you can — fast…
Couples Intensives were designed for you to get a year of therapy in just one weekend.

With my supportive, cut-to-the-chase approach, you will be able to move forward with the communication tools for any decisions you make…whether that means splitting up or staying together.

“We were fighting 24/7 about everything … it was getting SO crazy. Lori could see where we were stuck and immediately showed us how to turn things around. What a relief to escape from the traps we’d been falling into for years.”
– M.B.T.

How Marriage Intensives Work

HELP!

Are you at your wit’s end with your relationship?

If you have felt stuck for too long…
and you think it might be time to leave…
but you are not sure…

You just want one last shot to really know what is best…

An intensive is the most effective choice.

I work with couples of all types — specifically couples that seek change, need it today, and want it to stick.

“After we got home, we realized just how close we’d come to splitting up – and how LUCKY we were to work with Lori at the right point in time. I’m so grateful we did this.”
– P.B.

HOPE!

You and your partner can fall in love again.

With research-based methods, you can find intimacy, compassion, and happiness — together.

An intensive brings the clarity needed to better understand and accept one another, while also realizing how to have your own wants and needs.

All in two days. During the week or weekend, your choice.

During an intensive, we’ll focus all of our attention specifically on learning a way of communicating that will help you release resentments and anger.

Almost every couple I see is stuck because they don’t ask the right questions. That’s why I focus on helping you ask the right questions and why. Whether it’s the questions I ask you or the ones you ask your partner, this process gets you to the bottom of an issue for lasting change — not quick fixes. It’s a game changer.

Intensives are my favorite form of coaching because of the results couples get. Weekly hour-long sessions can run out of time before making much progress. The intensive allows us to make progress that sticks.

Afterwards, you come away with a book of customized tools you can use when challenges arise in your daily life. This deep dive and practical application is similar to immersive language learning — creating a new sense of connection in your relationship

“We were literally on the brink of divorce. I had no idea if we could ever move past all the confusion and pain that had built up. Thank you, Lori, for helping us find our way back to each other!”
– A.J.
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HOW?

The intensive is a private, personalized experience.
The intensive is also the quickest and most effective way to get to what you want.

Beforehand, you will fill out questionnaires that focus our session on your specific situation and partner. Then when we sit down together, my proven method will move you through a year of therapy in one weekend.

Whether you choose a 1-day or 2-day intensive, the immersion creates momentum you can use when you return home.

An example intensive looks like:

  • 9 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. schedule
  • A review of the questionnaires for clarity
  • Establishment of success strategies
  • Implementation of communication processes
  • Opportunities for role play and real life practice

**A full 90-minute lunch break assures that you will have time to rest and recharge between sessions.

Plus, you receive a custom guidebook filled with the powerful exercises we practice together. Personalized with extra resources, your guidebook will provide actionable tools you can use in daily life — to stay on track for years to come.

No matter where you live, we can arrange an intensive that fits your busy schedule and gets you the answers you are looking for. In person sessions happen in my Bellevue, WA or Carlsbad, CA offices. Zoom is also very effective from anywhere.

You probably know where you are stuck. You just need the help getting unstuck.

ONE DAY or TWO?

The one-day intensive is primarily educational.

You will learn proven techniques to manage your reactions and begin to practice your new skills.

  • Quickly get to the heart of recurring arguments so you can understand what sets off anger and keeps the conflict going
  • Move from blame to change — a crucial shift in thinking that will transform the way you relate to one another
  • Learn more about the reactions that are triggered in your brain when you disagree – and how you can master your reactions for clearer, more loving communication
  • Create an effective roadmap to move you toward deeper empathy and understanding

This rapid immersion will give you solid ground to build on.

“Seriously … things were so bad that I didn’t think a 1-day retreat could really do anything for us. I’m glad to say I was wrong! I only wish we’d done this sooner.”
– J.R.

The two-day intensive will take everything you learned in day one and provide time to refine your skills with real time coaching.

The 2-day Marriage Intensive is ideal for couples that realize they need in-depth support to rebuild their relationship from the inside out. Focused sessions help us get to the core issues quickly, while refreshing breaks enable us to shift gears and keep making progress.

During your 2-Day Intensive we will:

  • Explore any betrayals that have broken your trust in each other
  • Untangle the blame and shame that keep you deadlocked
  • Clarify each partner’s thoughts, feelings and desires
  • Learn to tolerate the tension of differences — a skill that actually brings you closer together
  • Look at how you can move forward together if one of you is more committed to the relationship

Many couples choose a 2-day intensive after the recent discovery of an affair. In those most painful moments, it can be hard to wrap your head around what happened. That’s why I use a process that I guide you through, step by step, to heal from the pain and feel safe again.

Whether you choose an intensive because of infidelity, feeling like your relationship is on its last legs, or something else, I have the tools to help. You will practice skills using real examples from your life together and leave with a detailed plan you can build on every day with compassion, understanding, and respect.

“One weekend was definitely NOT too much to give in order to repair the relationship we hoped would last forever. No question … it’s the best gift we ever gave each other.”
– M.T.

WHY LORI?

As a psychotherapist with over 25 years of training and practice, I have a nuanced understanding of couples relationships. I have made a lifelong study of what people need in order to overcome the conflicts that build up over time and have successfully worked with hundreds of couples. As a coach, I won’t focus on your past. We focus on the future and how to get you what you want as quickly as possible. I use proven processes and methods to restore the love and understanding that you and your partner need, and I specialize in giving you the exact tools and a plan to overcome the well-known patterns that drive couples apart.

I have studied with recognized experts such as Esther Perel, Stan Tatkin, and Michelle Weiner-Davis. I also draw extensively on the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy that Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson have developed, which gives a powerful way to see each of you as individuals within an evolving relationship. My years of study and practical experience make it possible for me to create an effective, fully customized intensive that will empower you as individuals and reconnect you as partners.

FAQs

An intensive isn’t for everyone. This approach is specifically for you if you are feeling deep doubts, but a part of you is not ready to leave your marriage.

Intensives also are a good fit if you’d prefer to get all of the answers you need in one or two days rather than spending a year to try to figure it out.

It is cheaper than a year of traditional therapy, and it’s certainly cheaper than a divorce. In fact, many couples consider it a gift they’ve given each other — especially when they think about the financial and emotional costs that come with divorce.

So, the question might be – can you afford NOT to invest in your relationship at this crucial point?

There’s no doubt that the upfront cost of a couples intensive differs from traditional coaching.
Yet as an experienced coach, I can tell you that no other method delivers the same rapid results.

You wouldn’t go to a discount surgeon if you needed medical attention. Why cut corners when it comes to the most important relationship of your life?

If your relationship is worth seeking help for, it’s worth investing in.

My intensives are reassuringly priced and clients tell me that it’s the best money they’ve ever spent.

You may believe that untangling the issues that have built up over years will take years to resolve. But the perspective you can gain through the intensive is a true game-changer.

You will learn so much about yourself and your partner – because we won’t be subject to the same old stop-and-start pattern of traditional coaching. Having the time to dive deep into the patterns that drive your relationship enables us to reach a satisfying solution.

The other great advantage is the chance to practice new skills that will help you break old patterns. These simple changes are remarkably effective – and with the practice you get, you’ll feel confident you can carry them into your everyday life.

Most couples tell me that they feel just the opposite! The discoveries they make actually give them a burst of energy.

It’s amazing to see the motivation that emerges when both partners realize they can change the course of their relationship. It’s a great experience for all 3 of us!

Also, we will take refreshing breaks in the morning and afternoon, plus a 90-minute lunch – so you will have plenty of time to relax and recharge your batteries. If you choose the 2-day Marriage Renewal Intensive, our 4:30 end time ensures that you will have plenty of time to rest overnight.

Thanks to years of successful experience in couples coaching, I am able to use the timing of your sessions to ensure a positive outcome.

You can schedule follow up sessions with me to reinforce what you learned.

I offer intensives in both Seattle, Washington and Carlsbad, California. 

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If I decide to work with you and you decide to work with me, I guarantee change will begin before our first session.