The voice on the phone sounded fearful and distant, even though I was speaking with a woman who usually came across as powerful and confident.
There was an awkward pause. “I just don’t think we’re going to make it through this,” she said at last. “After finding out my husband is in love with someone else, I just …”
Her words trailed off. It was too painful for her to even finish the thought.
She couldn’t sleep through the night, she told me. During the day, her mood shifted without warning. One minute she’d feel storms of fury; the next she’d be in tears as she thought about what the future might hold.
“Is there a way out of this?” she asked. “I don’t think either one of us is ready to give up, but … after something so unthinkable happens … is there any point in staying together?”
I told her that I knew there was. I explained that I spoke not only as a successful marriage therapist with more than 30 years of experience, but as someone who once feared her own marriage would fall apart.
I told her about the results I was seeing with a kind of marriage therapy she’d never heard about before – one that has helped thousands of couples explore their differences and find their way back to one another.
If she and her partner could devote one weekend to each other, I explained that a marriage counseling intensive might be a powerful choice. This focused and highly personalized experience is available to all the couples in my Seattle area practice, and even those who live in other parts of the country. In fact, a growing number of couples are choosing it over traditional therapy.
I gave the reasons I believed an intensive counseling experience would work for the two of them.
They couldn’t afford to wait. Their marriage was at the breaking point and they needed answers before it was too late.
They wanted real results. The slow pace of weekly marriage counseling was not going to work for them. They felt motivated to get to the heart of the matter and make clear-eyed decisions about their future.
They were ready to rediscover the good inside their relationship. They hadn’t given up hope that there might be a way forward. This small shred of faith could help them open their hearts to each other and, with the right guidance, find a way to understand what had led to the affair – and how they could recover together.
They wanted to dive deep into their specific issues. I sensed this couple wanted to understand where things had gone wrong. I outlined how we would work together, creating a safe space where both partners would feel heard and deeply respected. We would practice new skills that have been proven to work for thousands of couples in crisis. They would leave with a guidebook filled with exercises to keep them moving forward, and I’d be there if they needed me in the future.
A week later, we booked their 2-day intensive. And about 3 months later, it felt wonderful to receive this note of thanks.
“Lori, I can’t quite believe it, but we are better than ever. There was a gift inside the pain … realizing we still loved each other and could actually decide what kind of marriage we were going to have. So grateful you were there for us.”
I’m grateful, too. It’s what I’m here to do.
If your marriage is at risk right now, contact me now to discuss whether a marriage counseling intensive might be right for you.